What If My Husband Hates Me

"I'm sure my husband hates me!" That's a very strong statement coming from any woman. It's, sadly, something that many women feel as they maneuver their way through the choppy waters of marriage, partnership and co-parenting. Life isn't easy and sometimes when you've been married to the same man for years, it feels downright impossible. When you start to sense that he isn't fond of you anymore, you need to address it, right? Before you march over to him and demand that he stop hating you, it's important that you clarify whether your belief that he dislikes you is coming from him or whether it's something internal that you've taken on because the marriage isn't in a place you want it to be.

Before you try, convict and sentence your husband for not caring about you anymore, you need to get objective for just a moment. It's very hard for a woman to judge exactly what her husband feels unless she's outright asked him. I'm going to go out on an advice limb here and guess that you're assuming that your husband hates you, yes? He hasn't directly stood in front of you and said the words, has he? The problem with you jumping to the conclusion that he hates you is that he probably doesn't. You're likely absorbing his indifference, dissatisfaction or anger over something else as his disliking you. It happens to many women and it's typically because we take on the role of being the relationship repair person in the marriage. If you believe it's broken, you're going to want to fix it immediately, right?

The biggest problem with this is that your husband may not feel any dislike for you at all. Unless you ask him you're never going to really know. And don't expect him to respond favourably if you just bluntly say, "honey, do you hate me?" Men are accustomed to women asking questions that come straight out of left field. They're equipped to deal with them flawlessly and that normally means getting angry and asking you a question in the form of, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Instead of putting yourself in the line of fire, you need to find another way to really gauge what your husband feels for you. Men express their emotions and their devotion in very different ways than women do. A woman may tell her husband repeatedly throughout the day that she loves him and he may only respond with a quiet, "me too." Don't take that to mean that he doesn't truly adore you. He does, he just doesn't always think to say it the way you do.

Also, pay close attention to how much your husband is willing to do to help you. If he's always quick to tend to his household chores and he goes above and beyond by doing small things that make your life easier, he's definitely not someone who hates you. He loves you and his support of you is one of the ways he's showing you.

Obviously, if you two have been struggling in your marriage for a time you may believe that he really does hate you because he's not taking steps to make things better. Have you ever considered the fact that he may not know how to do that? Men are typically one step behind women when it comes to taking the initiative to smooth over the rough spots in their relationship. A man would much rather wait for you to take the lead on that and open up a discussion. If you feel comfortable doing that, there's no time like the present. You may find that by talking about the issues that plague you two, you'll both feel more secure in the other's love and your marriage will be stronger because of it.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.

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