The Secret For Success With Dating

(WRITTEN FOR MY FEMALE FRIENDS IN SHANGHAI, YET RELEVANT FOR MANY MORE)

Hi Ladies! Hope you are having a wonderful day. If you are not, that's ok, you will soon.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It shows you are already open minded and able to look at things from different angles.

Now you made the choice to come here, the next question is.

Is there a science to successful dating?

What I'm going to share with you could well be one of key secrets for successful dating.

Firstly, to make it really happen for you, there needs to a letting go of one or more of the three fundamental fears in life.

Do you know what they are? Any Idea?

Its one or a blend of three things:

Fear of not being loved.

Fear of not belonging.

Fear of not being enough.

It's ABSOLUTELY NORMAL to have these fears, they are natural. However they may easily be holding us back.

Think about it. Two people very very similar. One is afraid of not being loved, belonging or not being enough. The other person is not afraid. Who would you rather be with?

Personally I still feel these fears at times. In fact, years ago, I felt them a lot! I learned to how to manage fear and you can too.

How I deal with it:

For me, I found that awareness helped a lot. Now days, I'm much more in tune to my body and emotions. I feel this fear coming on. Generally I see, hear or know something is coming. Or perhaps it's just a thought in my dead. Then I feel the fear growing and wait, hang on, that's fear!

Then I ask myself. Why is that feeling there? Where is it coming from? Is it doing me any good? Realistically, looking at myself from a third person perspective, should I, or is there any real purpose in feeling fear. Perhaps its silly, perhaps its acceptable. Most frequently it doesn't really serve me well and I want to minimize it. So I acknowledge the fear, then work on moving straight through. Moving how? One step after the next. Realizing the fear is silly, laughing at it, re-framing it, or just forcing myself to continue focusing on positive aspects. If you keep focusing on positive aspects, you will keep seeing and feeling those positive aspects. You can do this too!

Alternative with NLP:

I learned this with one of my NLP Trainers last year. They said to try to focus on gratitude, or appreciation. Scientifically with Neuro Science, apparently its very hard to feel this emotion and fear at the same time. Interesting isn't it. So try shifting your focus on gratitude and then move forward. One step at a time.

Note:

Ladies, I have total respect for you. I haven't been in your shoes before. I can't understand what its like to be you. What I can do though is listen. I spend a lot of time listening deeply and I acknowledge each and every one of you are different. These three fears part of human nature. It may be extra challenging for a woman and that's more reason for you to do it. And you can do it. How can you not try it?

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Credit: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com